Long-distance love conquers separation, frustration

Publish Time: 2020-11-18 Author: YANG ZEKUN From: China Daily

Sonam Dekyi (center) spends time with her husband, Sonam Daje, baby son and mother-in-law. WANG JING/CHINA DAILY

Sonam Dekyi knew she would have to shoulder great family responsibility when she married Sonam Daje, a police officer with the National Immigration Administration.

Although she used to complain about the lack of time her husband spent with the family, she has gradually come to accept the situation.

The 30-year-old works at a post office in Lhokha, Tibet autonomous region. The city is about 300 kilometers from Sonam Daje's workplace at the Pumaqangtang Border Police Station in Lhokha's Nakarze county, where he is deputy chief of the local border management team. The couple plan each meeting carefully.

In February, when Sonam Dekyi was about to give birth to their second child, her husband promised to return and help her. Instead, work commitments prevented him from doing so, and he arrived 15 days after the birth.

"Because she misses her father and knows he is a police officer, my 3-year-old daughter often calls men in police uniform 'Daddy'. It makes me embarrassed and sad," Sonam Dekyi said.

"He often says he owes me and the family a lot and can never repay us, but I believe there is no need to discuss who gives more or less in a marriage. I love him and I chose him, so I need to support his work, even though I sometimes blame him for spending so little time with the family."

When the two married in 2013, their love tokens were a box of chocolates and a brooch with a peacock design, which Sonam Dekyi treasures.

After she gave birth to their first child in 2017, Sonam Dekyi visited the police station in Pumaqangtang. It lies at an altitude of 5,373 meters, exposing the officers to low oxygen levels, altitude sickness and intense ultraviolet radiation.

"It was my first visit to his workplace and I was shocked-the windy weather and altitude sickness made me uncomfortable, I have no idea how my husband and the other officers overcome these difficulties," she said.

Glacier rescue missions are an important part of Sonam Daje's work, but they are fraught with danger.

Whenever she hears that her husband has to take part in a rescue mission, Sonam Dekyi is nervous because there are no roads or phone signals in the area around the glacier.

When she was pregnant in 2017, she lost contact with Sonam Daje for four days while he attended a rescue mission. She waited day and night for a phone call from him.

"I was so angry and asked him why he had not called me for such a long time. He explained, but I still felt it was unacceptable. Later, we made an agreement that whenever he has to attend such missions he must send me a message first," Sonam Dekyi said.

"People say it is great to be a police officer's wife, but it is very hard, too," she added.

"I'm so proud to have a brave, responsible husband, and I support his work unconditionally because I love him. My dearest wish is that he stays safe and healthy."

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